Noisy Neighbours

OMG.This is truly my last visit to to the UK and London. My publisher forced me here to do some talks to publicise the latest edition of my blockbuster on enterprise, ‘Stripping for Freedom’ (available on Amazon).

The visit started well as they put me in a nice house in St Johns Wood. Then at midnight I was woken by a terrible din. Apparently my neighbour is that old Beatle guy Sir Paul Macthingy and he was having a party to celebrate his latest wedding. As soon as they started singing ‘Yesterday’ I started getting depressed, so backward looking, and so I called the police.

Then my Blackberry went down. How is a fashionista and celebrity, like moi, going to earn a buck if she can’t get her e-mails or tweet. I’m out of here with Blackberry from now on – it’s an i-phone or HTC next – which is the coolest? Then the cold weather means I have to suffer seeing Brit men and women in their national costume of fleeces and leggings with ankle boots – pigs trotters – it is so wrong. The men look worse in them.

Anyway, the above seamlessly links to my enterprise tip of the week which is about style and technology. As a small business owner you mustn’t fall into the trap of using your time like corporate executives do. In corporate land, management is all about meetings, Kits, One2Ones, get-togethers, forums and water cooler moments. It’s the way these managers fill their working day to look busy and important and no-one can tell that they actually don’t do anything.

Small business owners are time poor and therefore many meetings and journeys to meet face to face are probably costing your business dearly. Make it a rule never to meet face to face unless you can see a financial return. For me this means if I’m not paid a fee then I need to make a sale or develop a client account. So say ‘No’ to most meetings and instead use Skype, e-mail, text and social media. If you’re using Skype make sure that you look professional and the background looks good too. I have my Jimmy Choos hanging on the wall behind me and never wear a fleece.

Finally, I see my fellow blogger has suggested you smile more. This is very good advice – no-one likes a miserable git. In order to develop a winning smile you’ll need to practice my Soculitherz patented speed smiling. This means you’ll be able to do 20 smiles in 20 seconds. Practice it in the mirror, on shiny shoes or in shop windows. You’ll see many of my followers doing it. How do you think David Cameron got to be your PM – brains or speed smiling?

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