When to sue?
OMG! How many more weeks will the Sunday press be talking about Kate Middleton’s breasts? Frankly, she’s had bad advice. Taking legal action just revs up the story. Whenever I need a little bit more exposure, not of my bits, I threaten, through the media, to sue a C list celebrity. It usually boosts my income as well as my profile.
The reason it works like a dream is that it makes for good headlines and good blackmail too. Many celebs are so potty mouthed or drunk or drugged or bone headed, or all four, that they’re unsure whether they’ve libelled me or not. Their PRs then panic and 48 hours later my useless, hopeless, wet week of an agent, Tony Robinson OBE, is able to go, on my behalf, to collect the settlement.
‘Boring’ has his uses
Fortunately, Robinson has a boring suit, boring business card and even more boring disposition so he could pass for a lawyer or, even, a banker. Whichever, they’re both good at daylight robbery. Robinson never says which he is, and his speech is incomprehensible anyway, so they always hand over the cheque thinking he must be of their profession. The phrase ‘thick as thieves’ springs to mind.
You, dear reader, will have gathered already, despite my mega stardom as an author, fashionista and investigative journo, that I am not averse to re-inventing myself from time to time. This is because, from time to time, I find it necessary to boost the funds for my retail therapy habit.
Boost your biz – accessorize!
A little boost in funds is what micro enterprises need, from time to time, too. I have some fabuloso advice for you on that subject. Think of your biz as an old frock. You don’t want to throw it away because a lot of people say nice things about it and you feel good in it. So what do you do? You accessorize it!
Let’s say, not that I’d be seen dead in one, that it’s a silky-soft, Jersey dress in green, turqoise and brown. Glam it up. Give it a little bling. For example add a feathered head piece, thigh high boots, crazy emerald bangles and beads, retro green shades and don’t forget the eye shadow too – Quad in Emerald Lust by Tom Ford, £62 from Harrods, should do it.
Now for your business. What can you quickly add on to your business so that prospective and existing customers buy more from you? It could be a new customer special offer. Be creative – do something different every month. It could be a new product that you buy in or better still, act as an agent or distributor for, so that you don’t have to buy stock.
It could be an additional service. An add on that is low cost to you but high value to your customer. For example, you could provide a chargeable out of normal office hours service by text and e-mail for a monthly subscription. It makes your client feel secure but will hardly ever be used. All you need to do is keep your smartphone with you whilst you’re necking a jug, or three, of Pimms.
A Deal to make the extra dollar?
It could even be that you do a deal with a trusted associate company so that you get commission for referrals of your customers to them. You can even go for the mega accessory, the equivalent of a new Burberry bag, and bring in a new minority director/’partner’/shareholder along with their business income streams and customers. They’re going to just love you and your customers.
The fab thing about being in business for yourself is that you’re a law unto yourself. At any time you can make a deal to get more business. Most successful entrepreneurs have made more money by spotting an opportunity, and making deals to exploit that opportunity, than they have by producing a brand new product or service themselves. Making deals is a faster way of adding income and can be seriously cool too.
As I say, for a speaking fee, ‘it takes a lot less shopping time for a bit of bling than it does for a LBD’.
Canadian fashionista, Leonora Soculitherz does not correspond with her fans (unless they are stinking rich). She is the acclaimed author of the best selling ‘Stripping for Freedom’, described as ‘the funniest book on enterprise’ and available globally through Amazon . Ms Soculitherz is sponsored by and is a Global Ambassador for the Enterprise Rockers Movement – making life better and fairer for micro enterprises everywhere.