Do keep up. I’m sorry it has been a couple of weeks since my last effervescent erudition. I thought it best to go into hiding for a little while – two reasons.
Firstly, ever since I was papped topless whilst reading ’50 shades of” I’ve been stalked by a sweat of billionaire businessmen (not sure what the collective noun is for billionaire businessmen). Secondly, and more seriously, my agent, the inept Tony Robinson OBE spoke at a major conference at Earls Court looking like this:
It is as embarassing for a top fashionista to have an agent, who dresses like this, as it is for your PM to have his chums turn up as the prime suspects at all these government inquiries. The only thing we can both do is disappear for a while and hope that when we come back everyone’s forgotten that we ever knew them.
On returning to London I just had time to buy a pair of red boots from Kurt Geiger (a snip at £350), for Halloween, before a catch up with Jools in Covent Garden. Jools is my far too skinny for her own good, I may kill her, new best friend. Talking of the PM, Jools was wearing similar stuff to that which Sam Cam wears and it comes from Zara and Topshop – who knew? I didn’t but then seeing there’s Prada and Versace – why should I?
I told Jools that there are an increasing number of days now when even a super intelligent, fashionista and best selling satirical author (of ‘Stripping for Freedom’), like moi, can find it hard to cast the duvet aside and go to work. In fact, ever since I realised I was paying more taxes and earning less than all the Big Company male friends of your posh coalition Government Ministers, I’ve felt sick.
It makes me cry out loud ‘what’s the point’ and then I eat a family size bag of maltesers. The Soculitherz global enterprise is suffering from a lack of motivation, not helped by having Tony Robinson OBE – the agent from hell – losing me more business than he’ll ever bring in.
Jools advice was for me to pay for a business mentor or even pay for a business coach. I said I thought you could get one free from the government. Jools pointed out that it’s just like a black snake-print bag from Mulberry (£750) – you get what you pay for.
Furthermore, she said I must get someone that has business experience in my line of business and has successfully started and run a business. She says that I’ll probably get one from the Enterprise Rockers global self help community of micro enterprise owners.
It all seems terribly retro to me! Is Jools right or is it just as barmy as her drinking her own wee? I need to know from you, my fans, should i pay for a business coach or should it be a mentor? Online or offline? Where is the best place to get one? How often and how long for? Will it put the zing back into Soculitherz? Answers purleese.
